Gentlemen… I like Yooyuball.
I like practice matches. I like double round robin matches. I like finals matches. I like post-finals practice matches.
Against Krawk Island, against Darigan, against Shenkuu, against Kreludor, against Lost Desert, against Meridell, against Maraqua, against Altador.
I love everything about this game.
I like seeing the AI fail to understand how Darigan balls work. When my opponent aims at my goal and throws the ball into the corner of the field, my heart dances.
I like scoring goals with the Faerie ball’s sparkly body. When I approach my opponent’s goalie head-on and throw the ball in a graceful arc that sails easily into the net, my heart soars.
I like it when I pick up a hot Clockwork ball and throw it at my opponent just before it explodes. I remember being moved when the blast scattered my opponents all over the field.
Getting the Altador Cup avatar was unendurably exciting. When my opponents whined in desperation, beating them 13-0 for the first time was spectacular.
When the minions of Darigan came bravely with their ACII championship trophy, and were tied in two events and beaten in the third by Meridell, I was at my height.
If I must lose, I like being beaten by teams like Terror Mountain and Maraqua so they may enjoy a moment of victory before I regroup and annihilate them in the second round. It is a sad thing to be eternally stuck in the middle of the rankings and never have much attention paid to you.
If I must lose, I like being beaten outright in all three events. Combinations of wins, losses, and draws only end in arguments over who won, drama on the Neoboards, and disgrace upon the sore losers on both teams.
I desire a match that is like hell.
Gentlemen, loyal subjects of King Roo who follow me, what do you desire?
Do you desire Yooyuball as well?
Do you also desire a match in which no quarter is given?
Do you desire a match that stretches the limits of Eyrie, Grarrl, Usul, Pteri, and Blumaroo, one that will pwn all the n00bs in Neopia?
Then we shall have Yooyuball.
The night that will grant our wishes has come.
WELCOME TO THE NIGHT OF YOOYUBALL!
(apologies to… pretty much everyone)